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Out of Orthodoxy – Why This Former Orthodox rabbi officiate at marriages Interreligious

Many might ask, even accuse, how I can I, a rabbi, was once orthodox, which served as an Orthodox congregation, and in front of Orthodox educational institutions, willing and even eager, to help interfaith couples and (co) officiate at your wedding?

Let me open with a family history. I remember my grandmother discussion had with my uncle before me. The two had moved from the east coast of Portland, Oregon to be with their children and grandchildren. Neither was attentive in the orthodox sense of the word but both had bought kosher meat in the east. While my grandmother continued to buy kosher meat in Portland despite the higher price, my uncle started buying non-kosher meat, once he moved there. He explained that kosher meat was too expensive. My grandmother responded harshly, still buy kosher meat because "well is how our parents raised us! "

That logic makes no sense to me. I bought kosher food, lived in the Eruv, sent my children to an expensive school, and fulfilled the costly and taxing the other requirements of halacha, because I firmly believed that God had commanded me to do so. Even where the tradition came into play, such as derech hapsak standard (the halachic ruling) of Rama, the concepts of minhag Yisrael hu din (the custom of Israel, the force of law), and the like, the implicit, if not explicit reasoning was that God wants us to do this way, the tradition itself was valued separately from the will of God. My opposition when mixed marriages, as to any violation of Jewish law had nothing to do with tradition. As an Orthodox rabbi who is not, nor have I dreamed of making mixed marriages, since it is against Jewish law. Period. What mattered to me was the desire of the deity, not a tradition in itself.

Somewhere in the middle of 2006, everything changed. I an epiphany of the class, and it became clear to me that he could not remain Orthodox. I started a year and a half long journey of study and exploration, at the end of the Orthodox world which I left behind, and now I live my life as a secular humanist Jew. You do not buy kosher food, live in the Eruv, send my children to school expensive or costly to comply with all tax and other requirements of halacha, because I firmly believe God has commanded you to do so. As my objection to officiate the marriage was part of my life halacha, I see no reason not to do this now. Period. Now, what my life are the ideals of humanism. As matters is how I can help my neighbor and how I can make the world a better place for humanity in general. That is most paramount, not the desire to imagine of a deity.

I remember when I first met with Rabbi Jacques Cukierkorn, plus some kosher ribs Irv Market in Kansas City. He explained his philosophy of what would and would not through a story that was intended in good humor to make even the most liberal Orthodox rabbi (I) to raise an eyebrow. Once he got the effect he wanted, he explained seriously that has a view of judges as a possible act – it advance the cause Judaism? I have a view – was that I do help my fellow man, and further the cause of the humanistic ideals? The treatment of a couple with kindness and compassion, as human beings, as individuals, that is the way they treated each other to fall in love is the best way to accomplish this. In fact, I can think of few things better than helping a couple that the most important day of your life more beautiful, especially when so many rabbis will not do it without imposing numerous conditions.

Rabbi Adam Chalom talks about the fact that all marriages are mixed marriages. Multifaceted people marry individuals, each of us has many features defining, with our religion is only one of them. In that sense, even a marriage between two ultra-Orthodox Jews is a mixed marriage, and marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew, who are on the same wavelength on many things could be less of a stretch, depending on the characteristics of other individuals. Amy Elkes writes: "My boyfriend and I share many of the same beliefs and values. We both believe in acting with honesty and integrity. The two honor our families and believe that children are more committed partner. We love to learn and travel and explore new places. When faced with problems, no matter what, we become each other to comfort and support. In short, do not define ourselves only by our religions, and as a result, we have an enormous amount of common ground to stand. "Each partner must determine if its" package "is one that works. Then, all a perfect marriage between a Jew humanistic Halacha Ultra Orthodox Jew and would probably have less opportunity to remain intact, one between a Jew and a Buddhist humanist humanistic.

The interesting thing is that if we are, after all, to invoke the tradition, we who see nothing wrong with intermarriage have a good leg to stand on, and in a sense one better than those who invoke tradition against them. After all, from the period when our ancestors, the Canaanites of the Central Highlands began to define themselves as Israel and Judah, at least to 450 BC C., xenophobia beyond the standard, so common these days, not many thought there was really much wrong with intermarriage. This was partly because all worshiped the same gods many, with a small group of priests in the seventh century BC by pushing monolatry one of those particular gods, Yahweh, and trying to encourage a little more than xenophobia standard with bans of their marriages. The latter openly lament, it does not really make too much of a splash at the time the general populace. Thus we see marriage as exemplified by the legendary figures of Ruth, Ma'acha, Na'ama, Jezebel, Yeter, Uriah, and many more. Prof. Baruch Halpern talks about the fact that, in general, this group of Yahweh only rewrote history the traditional Jewish practice condemned as foreigners and against the tradition, and the new practice of this new party as the true high Israelite tradition. Namely just one more example, if this is so true. Being open to interfaith marriage invoke the ancient traditions and true to our Canaanite / Israelite ancestry. To the xenophobia leave your back, we can improve in these traditions.

I feel a personal connection with that way of thinking about myself as someone is (co) officiate intermarriage. What follows is my personal guess, and I can be a bit off, but certainly not more, so the traditional version of Judaism. There has been a series of fascinating studies on evidence and mitochondrial DNA markers on the Y chromosome give us regarding the development of the human race. One of the most fascinating of these studies is the study which implies that 70-80% of men today Kohanim (priests Aaronide or Zadokite) are actually descendants of a single common ancestor who lived 2100-3500 years ago men. Now, the consensus among archaeologists is very clear that the Israelites and the sons of Judah emerged from the Canaanite central highlands. That means that this ancestor probably came from within that environment. If you read between the lines of the Bible, you can see that there is some probability that the priesthood Aaronide history really begins with the selection of two rival lines Cannanite by the chief priest of Judah rustic known as David (which we now have evidence did in fact exist) with the line Zadokite winning out. When I, a Kohen, standing before a couple and enshrining them in marriage, I am not only as an heir to the historic traditions of Judaism and the original Cannanite / Israelites, but also, by virtue of my DNA, as heir to the Cannanite old priest, who may have officiated at many marriages of all kinds, no one thinks anything about it.

Some may say I officiate intermarriage is decimating the Jewish people. Some of them, and I have my old self as the culprit in this respect, even abhorred the use of references to a holocaust "Voluntary" as if people who wish to marry their loved ones are similar to those that killed a third of our people. Again Chalom is moving in their thinking in this area. Why not see this as the expansion of the Jewish people? For theistic Jews of all persuasions, there is a need legally defining who is Jewish and who is not, as they look through the eyes religious Jews. Who is a Jew, is as important an issue to the Reform rabbis liberal, as it is for Karta Neturai counterpart. For them, under some version of the Halacha the children of interfaith couple will Jewish or not Jewish, and this is a concern of paramount importance. For me, Judaism is largely a matter of culture, history and intellectual tradition, positive and relevant aspects of which together embrace the traditions of the Enlightenment. One can be a part of many cultures. My children are three quarters Ashkenazi and Sephardic room. Have I done damage to the Ashkenazi culture by marrying a woman not completely Ashkenazi? My cousin married a man China. Are you hurt their children by not marrying a man born in America? Did you hurt your children not to marry a Chinese woman? Indeed, for shame, does a lot of people, one or two generations would have responded to the affirmative. To the shame of ultra Orthodox Judaism in Israel, even today, answer positive discrimination to my first question. Need we be so narrow minded? Can not we understand that there is something positive and more enriching and wonderful people out there being heirs to a Jewish cultural, historical and intellectual tradition, combined with additional identities have? This should be seen as a blessing, not a problem.

Our Rabbis ask what does God do since I finished with the heavy work of creation? We say that does one thing – matchmaking. The idea of marriage, two separate people coming together to form a united entity, when you think it is quite fantastic. In our culture modern high divorce rate, we see how incredibly hard it can be to maintain an intact package. Those of us who are married know that more work is needed on it day by day. If you are approached by a couple who love each other deeply, who have thought the issues through their compatibility, and have decided that they would like nothing more to spend their life together, mixing their lives and their bodies in one, and ask us to help them make this dream come true, we dare say no? I know I can not, and I will not. Do not attach any conditions to my will (co) officiate, and I will have a single issue, the question asks Chalom said that when couples approach to him, "Do you love others?" If the answer is yes, I will have only one response, "Mazel Tov, now let's look at some of the dates … "

Copyright 2007 – www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net – Rabbi S. David Gruber – All rights reserved

About the Author

I am a native of Evanston, Illinois, and an eighth generation rabbi. I grew up in Israel, where I served as a tank gunner in the IDF Armored Corps, attended Yeshivat Sha’alvim, one of the most prominent institutions of higher Orthodox Jewish learning in Israel for seven years, and received my Orthodox rabbinic ordination from the Chief Rabbis of Israel. I hold a B.A. in History from Thomas Edison State College, and an M.S. in Educational Leadership from Walden University.

I have served in educational and religious leadership positions in the Jewish community on three continents since my teens, specifically in Israel, New Zealand and the United States.

A former member of the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) I am one of the only ordained Orthodox rabbis in the world, who has renounced Orthodoxy and sees himself as a secular humanist. As such I deeply believes in helping interfaith couples make the most out of the most wonderful day of their lives.

Having lived, since my return to the United States, in Overland Park, Kansas, Toledo, Ohio and Dallas, Texas, I now live in the beautiful city of Frisco, Texas, a northern suburb of Dallas, and one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
Visit my website at www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net